God knows you

Origins of the Dance Floor

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‘Meet Me on the Dance Floor’ is my latest guest post at Emilie Hendryx’s website.

And if you haven’t had the chance yet, make sure you visit my article on Ada Brownell’s website, ‘I Don’t Want to Succeed’.

And I’m not neglecting my own blog; a post tentatively titled ‘Step Two is the Killer’ will be up in the next week.

 

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The Parade

Does guilt ever affect you? Do you find yourself holding back from God? Do you find yourself envious of other people who seem so close to Him?

If you answered ‘yes’, check out my short story/youth group skit, The Parade.

And if you answered ‘no’, you should still check it out, because we can all do with a reminder every now and then. 🙂

I Don’t Trust God

I don’t trust God.

That’s the realisation I came to just over a month ago.

morguefile trust

Sure, if you had’ve asked me I certainly would have said I trusted God. But my mental agonising, internal temper tantrums and occasional whinge sessions with my sister said otherwise.

There was a very real reason behind my worry. I was at a point where my life could go one of two ways; lets call them Option A (for Awesome) and Option B (for Boring, Bad, etc).

Needless to say, I really wanted Option A. The way this panned out would affect my life in a fairly major way. But there wasn’t really anything I could do to force Option A to become reality.

So I waited. And prayed. And hoped. And day-dreamed. And stewed. And got frustrated. And worried. And grumbled.

For six months.

I said I was trusting God. And I was, to the degree that I didn’t throw my hands in the air and walk out on Him. I trusted Him enough to stay with Him.

But I didn’t trust Him enough to allow His peace to calm me down. No, instead I went through the up-and-down rollercoaster of trying to trust God for about four days, before something gave me hope that Option A really could happen. Then I focused my thoughts on that hope. Then something negative happened. Then I focused on that. And despaired. And the cycle started again.

One day I woke up and realised how ridiculous this was. And what it said about my real trust in God. I knew then that I had to decide. I either took God at His word and believed that He knew best or I didn’t.

I chose to believe.

It lasted four weeks.

After four weeks, I allowed myself to get distracted again. I took my eye off the ball – off God – and fell down again. I lost my peace. But this time, I realised something else.

Option A is never going to happen.

So now I’m living Option B, and again I have two choices. Trust God, or just watch TV for the rest of my life. (TV is my drug of choice when I’m upset.)

I’m finding that trusting God – and the peace that follows – is much better. I’ve also learned that I need to pray for help in trusting God, and remember to do it. It’s now written on a sticky note and stuck on my bedroom wall.

Moral of the story? I’m not as good at trust as I thought. But with God’s help, I can do it. And trusting God is way better than the alternative.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

God knows you. That’s right, you!

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

“Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Matt 6:6-8 NIV

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Wow, did you see that? If not, go back and read it again.

Did you see it this time? There are two amazing truths in those verses that make me feel special and loved.

Number one:  God sees what is done in secret. Usually when you say those words, people shrink down into themselves and glance around, looking for the giant eye in the sky that is spying on them. Like they’re ashamed.

But there’s no need for that, not if we’re forgiven. In this verse, God is watching all the good things we do in secret. In other words, He is paying attention.

Doesn’t that make you smile? He notices the small things: that time you bit your tongue so that you didn’t lash out; when you cooked a meal for an ill mother; when you were honest about your mistake at work. And He hears every quiet word you say to Him.

He sees. He knows. He smiles. And He will reward (not that reward should really be our motivation, but still… it’s nice).

Number two: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him”. Just let that sink in for a minute.

Don’t cheat. A whole minute.

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He knows what you need before you even ask Him.

Does your best friend or your spouse know what you need before you tell them? Sometimes they might be lucky enough to guess. But know? And those are the most intimate human relationships in existence!

God is even better than that.

He knows you. He knows you really, really well.