Aunty Fay


Aunty Fay with my little sister Abby as a baby in 2008.

My Aunty Fay (Mum’s aunty) died last week. Her funeral is today.

She really loved Jesus.

The past four years, she was here in body but not in mind – dementia.

So when I heard the news, I was relieved she is now in heaven with her Saviour she loved so much.

And the thought stuck with me – she’s there! She’ll never struggle again. All her worries are left behind. Her earthly mission is complete, and now she’ll celebrate forever.

It really makes you realise how life is short, and we only have a limited time to fulfill our purpose here.

In heaven, everything’s taken care of. Our time on earth is the only time we can glorify God by obeying him, even when it’s hard.

Boy, I want to have purpose.

It’s so easy to get distracted by work, friends, building my house, writing my book, just constructing what I hope will be a ‘successful’ adult life.

I find it easy to get discouraged, to let things worry me, to fixate on the things that aren’t going the way I want.

But in heaven, I’ll see God. I won’t need to believe, because I’ll see.

This time on earth is my one chance to HAVE FAITH, even when things aren’t looking hopeful. It’s my chance to be OBEDIENT when it’s easier not to be. It’s my chance to STAY FOCUSSED ON MY PURPOSE – GLORIFYING GOD, when I can’t see Him in front of me.

So please help me with that, God.


What to do with discouragement

I’ve been increasingly discouraged over the past two months or so, with a few different factors building over that time.

When this time first started, I said that the events happening weren’t in my control; all I could do was continue to be obedient and trust God.

To be honest, I think I’ve kinda forgot about that over the past month.

I’ve allowed a combination of circumstances to drag me down, and forgotten that it’s still my job to just keep praying and being obedient. Being glum doesn’t help anyone.

I have a few friends who really encouraged me on Monday night, and that really helped jump-start me again.

They reminded me that expectations don’t matter, but joyful obedience does.

It reminds me of one of the last things Jesus said to Peter:

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.

John 21:21-22 NIV (emphasis mine)

Am I really relying on God?

I woke up this morning with a to-do list in my head.

In the next two days I’ve gotta talk to builders, do my tax, go to the dentist, edit my book, visit a friend, run home group, and write this blog. Oh, and go to work. And find clean clothes to wear.

It’s not impossible, but the list is taking up a lot of brain space. And making me a little tense.

But while I was thinking about it this morning, God was like, “Why are you concerned? I can deal with the blog. I can deal with the book. They’re both things that should happen in My time anyway.

“And the other things will all be done once these two days are over.

“So chill. I’ve got this.”

To which my response is, “Sweet. Please help me to be chill. And pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease let things go well at the dentist!”

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Phil 4:6-7 NIV


Figuring out success

God’s challenged me this week not to make success an idol.

I’ve been getting a little stressed lately, just over the thought of possibilities in my writing future. Stuff like the edits will be endless, no publisher will like my book, and once I get published my career will tank within a couple of books.

All of those thoughts really been pounding through my head. That’s not from God. And that’s faithless. I need to hand that over to Him.

I write for two reasons: enjoyment, and obedience to God.

So where does stress factor into either of those two things?

Think about it: why would God want me to write? It’s not like He can’t think up His own words. No, God doesn’t need me to write at all. But He wants to take the journey with Him. And He wants me to learn to trust Him.

And what do I define success as, anyway? A relationship of love, trust and obedience with God. That may include a great writing career, a mediocre one or none at all.

My job is to simply do my best, and walk with God through it all.