I Don’t Get the Point of This, God

I don’t understand the direction my life is going.

Photo sourced from EveryStockPhoto.com, by KellyB. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

Photo sourced from EveryStockPhoto.com, by KellyB. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

I don’t want to sound like a whiner, but…I’m about to.

My job is not a career, my writing will take forever to become a career, I can’t see God working through me and things just aren’t turning out the way I expected. It drives me crazy that I can’t see which way I’m going.

I’m the kind of person who likes to set goals, then work hard to achieve them. I hate drifting, I hate aimlessness and I hate waiting without knowing what’s going on. I guess ticking goals off my list makes me feel in control and successful.

So this time of my life—while I love many parts of it—is sending me bonkers.

But as I studied the Book of Luke yesterday I got a bucket of cold water thrown over my soul.

As I read through Chapters 7-9 I took note of patterns in what Jesus said and did. And I found one theme coming  out stronger than all the others: faith.

©CreationSwap/Tonya Christner

©CreationSwap/Tonya Christner

Jesus praised the faith of the centurion, the sinful woman and the bleeding woman. All three trusted Him when they were in desperate circumstances. Jesus also taught people to have faith through the Parable of the Sower, and he told Jairus to have faith when he raised his daughter from the dead. And when the disciples freaked out at a deadly storm, he questioned why they didn’t have more faith!

Let me tell you, if I was in that boat I would have been screaming my lungs out along with Peter.

As I read, I remembered how the nation of Israel had to wander the desert for 40 years because they didn’t have enough faith to enter the Promised Land (Numbers 13-14). And how Jesus later showed Peter that he could even walk on water if he had faith (Matt 14:22-33). I thought to myself, “Wow, where is my faith?”

If Peter can walk on water, I can choose to trust that God knows what He’s doing with my life, even if I don’t. I don’t have to understand. I don’t have to be able to see where my life is going. I just need to have faith.

I have to admit, up until yesterday I didn’t grasp how much of a big deal this was to God. Faith isn’t just a nice little Sunday School lesson we learn alongside, ‘Play nice’, and ‘Don’t hog all the cake’.

Going by the amount of times Jesus mentioned faith, the pivotal role faith played in Israel’s history and 1 Corinthians 13:13, I’d say that from God’s perspective, faith is the second most important thing in our lives.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV

Love is obviously number one; Jesus was pretty big on the whole, “Love God with all your heart” thing. But I’m pretty confident that faith is number two. (Okay, so maybe it ties for second place along with obedience, but you get the idea.)

This is a big deal. And I have been totally content to do nothing about it. I don’t want to miss out on a Promised Land and wander the desert because I refused to believe.

So I prayed, asking for God’s help. And as I prayed I realized how silly I had been. God was powerful enough to design DNA; I’m pretty sure He can handle my life.

So thank-you for your help God, and please remind me of this when I start to worry in the future.

What about you? What trigger points are in your life that cause you to lose faith? How do you combat them?

 

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7 comments

  1. This post definitely reassured me. The “im not the only one” feeling is nice. I am nearing the end of my year of service and starting to make plans for coming home and the next step is nervewracking. I have found myself trying to overplan – as usual – and forgetting that my faith should come first. Where does He want me? It’s so difficult to let go of the reigns, it’s much easier to make a list and have something viable to show your accomplishments but of course, we aren’t living to count our accomplishments. We are living for our faith. Your post reminded me of that. thank you.

    Like

    1. I can 100% relate. I have to remind myself all the time that God hasn’t forgotten me, does have a plan and is paying attention to my life.
      It seems strange; how could we doubt his love when he went to the cross for us?
      But I guess it’s human nature. I have sticky notes in my room reminding me just how much He does love me. 🙂

      Like

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